You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
