R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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