So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
