If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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