Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i don't like sucking hair
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
