I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
