Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
