My hand turned me down
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..