when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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