The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.