piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
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He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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