he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.