What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
