It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
