Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He better not be in your backpack
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
