Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
