That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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