i really wish james franco would like my vagina
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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