What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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