Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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