I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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