This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
