my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
