hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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