dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
