On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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