Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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