Just cropdusted the office
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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