i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
