The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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