Tell her she can't have a vagina
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
