You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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