I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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