i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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