Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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