It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
