Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
