Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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