i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
