I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
