He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
