dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.