oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize