At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize