You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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