she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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