Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
