Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
