how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
