ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
