that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
