3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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