Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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