Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
