dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
