We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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