Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize