Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize