the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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