Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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