just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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