After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
