she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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