Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And then my night got REAL pukey
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
